Understands (c)

Looking around
Not really wanting to see the world
But always hearing the sounds
Of pain
Tired of hearing
Tired of seeing
I feel like I should go
Go anywhere
I can’t stay where I am
I need to go…
It’s bad when
You feel like you have to run
From the ones who care about you
It’s bad when you feel so alone
In your own family
Or friends
No one really understands
No one will ever understand
At least not my family
They will never understand that
I’m lost and can’t find my way back
They won’t understand that
I have to go and figure out who I need to be
Because I have no idea who I am
I wear a mask.
A mask that hides it all
I don’t remember the last time
I was me
When I was truly happy
When I could be the real me…
Still lost
In the world
That no one understands.

Two in One

SunGlasses (c)

I wear sunglasses so no one can see my eyes
My eyes tell my whole life
When I'm happy
When I'm sad
When I'm mad
When I'm scared
I don't like to show you my eyes
You can see things that
I don't want you to see
You can see the truth
But do you know the truth?
My sunglasses hide everything that's wrong with me.


Pain in My Eyes (c)

So much pain
Can you see it in my eyes?
If you can't that's good.
Cause you don't want to see my pain
That's hidden inside me
You don't wanna see what brings me down
You don't wanna know the pain
That I go through.
I need to make you laugh
Not cry
I don't want you to see my pain
My pain will make you cry
The pain that I have won't help you
Pain is so hurtful that
I don't want you to see
Now I use my pain to make you laugh
Don't look into my eyes
Cause you'll see the truth...

Nothing (c)

The things I see
Are the things I hate
I hate the fact that
Family members have to
Flaunt around
Showing off boyfriends
Knowing the fact that
I don’t have one
I want to cry
I want to runaway
From it all
Does anyone know
How it really feels
No one in this family does
Not even my sister
Understands
Probably because
She is one of the “cute” ones
Unlike me…
I’m not cute
I’m not pretty
I’m not smart
Or anything else!
I’m in a family that
Encourages me
But doesn’t really encourages me
I’m lost in a “pretty” family
And everyone sees everyone else
But loses me

Wait...(c)

There’s nothing to do but wait
Wait for what?
I don’t know
Waiting for my life to end
When I’m physically alone
I’m always thinking that
I’ll be alone
I know that I’m not alone
But sometimes I just need
Someone to sit by me and tell me that I’m not alone
I have friends but
They are not true friends
They seem to have left me behind
They have their own lives
And I don’t even have one
I have one hidden from some
And they understand me
That’s the scary part

Shutting Out (c)

I’m shutting out
Shutting out the world
As I go along with this hell hole
I should be standing up for myself
But instead I fall
I can’t understand myself
Who am I?
If I even know who I am
I don’t even know if that’s the right question to ask
I can’t be living a lie
But I am
I can’t sit here and let people walk all over me
But I am
That’s why I’m shutting out the world
I’m shutting out “friends”
I’m shutting out family
I’m shutting out the world for Pete’s sake
I shouldn’t do it
But I am
Is it for my own life or is it because they don’t understand
Should I let them hurt me?
Or should I start standing?
Either way
I lose
And that’s when
I shut down